Proverbs 16:28

A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip seperates close friends.
- Proverbs 16:28


This verse has come to mean a great deal to me over the past few years. Not until high school did I give this proverb much thought or even truly understand it to the extent that I unfortunately do now. To fully appreciate this verse means that in some way, you have been affected by the negative situation in which a gossip has torn apart friendships, or at least left them severely damaged. Whether you were the “perverse man” (or woman) stirring up dissension or the victim of a needlessly cruel rumor, most likely you and everyone else in the world have experienced, or will experience, a circumstance in which gossip is the direct cause of pain and heartache to a relationship.

Of course, high school is the time where the Regina Georges of the world come out to mark their territory and spread their lies to maintain the Queen Bee position of the school (and if you do not know who Regina George is, I highly suggest you run, or drive, to the nearest movie rental store and pick up a copy of the massively entertaining movie Mean Girls). I knew that high school would be a time of back stabbing and betrayal but what I didn’t know was that gossip will follow a person throughout their whole life and not just disappear as soon as graduation rolls around. Gossip also does not discriminate between locations and types of people.

Recently I was astonished to find that gossip actually thrives in the church and leaves more pain and destruction in its wake than flimsy school rumors could ever do. Being a Pastor’s daughter, I was not a stranger to petty rumors flown around the sanctuary, but last year presented a challenge I never thought I would face in my church home.

My first year of college was a tough one and unfortunately I made some decisions that negatively impacted my myself and my family. Some of my closest friends in the church, who I had been best friends with since we were painting walls with our hands, decided to gossip about the information I gave them about the trials I was working through. In no time at all, the whole church knew of my regrettable mistakes. To make a long, bitter story short, those best friends are barely even acquaintances today.

Today I am much more guarded in what I say and who I share my most private thoughts with and must even consider if my thoughts should be spoken aloud. I am constantly turning to God to heal the hurt that gossip has caused in my life. I also know that I am not immune to spreading hurtful gossip and pray that God will keep me from causing pain and heartache with my words.

Life In Costume

Bright lights swim across the stage as I wait for the curtain to rise. The curtain that separates me from my greatest fear. As it rises, I gulp in all the air my costume allows me to take. Only able to see the knees of my fellow actors, I scramble around the floor of the stage with a child on my back. I feel pieces of the shy and timid girl I was crumble away as my character comes out to transform me into something else. Someone else. Afterward, as people were exiting the theatre with their programs of the show they had just seen, Peter Pan, a little girl approaches me and says “You were great as the dog.”

Being involved in theatre has instilled in me a confidence and sense of humility I have never before possessed. Before high school the only performing I had done was singing in church. Even then, I let my nerves get the best of me and my short performances would, more often than not, result in tears as soon as I returned to my seat, sure I had made a fool of mself. After my first day in my drama class as a freshman in high school, I was determined to break out of my comfort zone and take the stage.

On the stage, in front of a mixed audience of strangers and familiar, supporting faces, you become something else. Someone else. There is no reason to be nervous as you let your personality and personal characteristics strip away and result in a new character, although unfamiliar, exhilirating in its own right. Taking on this new role forces you to forget how nervous and sick you felt before stepping out onto the stage under the aura of swimming lights. This new person you have become doesn’t have time to buckle under the pressure as they live the time they are allotted through the costumes, sets and props given.

Through my acting career in high school, I was priveledged enough to play eight different characters from freshman year to the end of my senior experience. The shows I was involved in ranged from Peter Pan to Music Man, Willy Wonka to Grease. The diversity in the characters I played developed in me a new found confidence and assurance that allowed me to fulfill my desire to perform and entertain. In Peter Pan, as Nana the children's beloved dog who believes she is their nurse, I crawled across that stage on all fours, bleeding knees and aching back, with a sense of purpose and pride.

The world of theatre has changed my life. I have walked away from the stage with a new confidence, more humility, and a better bark.