Proverbs 16:28

A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip seperates close friends.
- Proverbs 16:28


This verse has come to mean a great deal to me over the past few years. Not until high school did I give this proverb much thought or even truly understand it to the extent that I unfortunately do now. To fully appreciate this verse means that in some way, you have been affected by the negative situation in which a gossip has torn apart friendships, or at least left them severely damaged. Whether you were the “perverse man” (or woman) stirring up dissension or the victim of a needlessly cruel rumor, most likely you and everyone else in the world have experienced, or will experience, a circumstance in which gossip is the direct cause of pain and heartache to a relationship.

Of course, high school is the time where the Regina Georges of the world come out to mark their territory and spread their lies to maintain the Queen Bee position of the school (and if you do not know who Regina George is, I highly suggest you run, or drive, to the nearest movie rental store and pick up a copy of the massively entertaining movie Mean Girls). I knew that high school would be a time of back stabbing and betrayal but what I didn’t know was that gossip will follow a person throughout their whole life and not just disappear as soon as graduation rolls around. Gossip also does not discriminate between locations and types of people.

Recently I was astonished to find that gossip actually thrives in the church and leaves more pain and destruction in its wake than flimsy school rumors could ever do. Being a Pastor’s daughter, I was not a stranger to petty rumors flown around the sanctuary, but last year presented a challenge I never thought I would face in my church home.

My first year of college was a tough one and unfortunately I made some decisions that negatively impacted my myself and my family. Some of my closest friends in the church, who I had been best friends with since we were painting walls with our hands, decided to gossip about the information I gave them about the trials I was working through. In no time at all, the whole church knew of my regrettable mistakes. To make a long, bitter story short, those best friends are barely even acquaintances today.

Today I am much more guarded in what I say and who I share my most private thoughts with and must even consider if my thoughts should be spoken aloud. I am constantly turning to God to heal the hurt that gossip has caused in my life. I also know that I am not immune to spreading hurtful gossip and pray that God will keep me from causing pain and heartache with my words.